Emotions and Deployment.

I'll tell you what.  If you are an emotional person to begin with you will find controlling said emotions while dealing with your husband being deployed almost impossible.  See I have always been emotional, since I was little I was in essence a cry baby, soft, sensitive.  I learned over the years how to control those emotions for the most part and over the years and dealing with all areas of life from extreme sad to extreme happy and have managed to get by okay with control. However, these days of deployment I have no control.  Any little thing sets me off, from seeing part of his uniform or his boots sitting by the front door to saying good night to him when he checks in with me before hitting the rack, I just lose it.  The hardest part is when I lose it in front of our daughter, she is only 18 months and yet is wise beyond just that.  When she sees me cry these days she becomes this compassionate little person who hugs my neck and has even wiped the tears away, which being emotional anyway makes me cry more.  If she doesn't do the compassionate thing she becomes a complete goof ball and tries her hardest to make me laugh and normally gets me to. I don't think I would be as sane as I am through this without her. 

Anyway, to boot my loss of emotional control add in the emotions running wild from being pregnant, having the baby and now having a lack of sleep. The biggest question I have now is will I ever regain control over these wild emotions or is this here to stay, all my hard work over the last 20 years down the drain? I think not.  The best thing anyone can do when they are in my situation is to just get it out.  Keep a journal, blog, talk to friends and family on the phone or via chat, write a letter to who ever. Just get it out and if you really feel like you just need to cry watch a Disney movie, any of them, if you are like me, the first sappy scene they show you will be reaching for the tissues.  The main key I am trying to pass on is to not keep it bottled up. They say a support group, whether that is your friends, family or just other spouses who are going through the same thing, stick to them like glue and talk it out but be ready to listen too. 

The other thing I do to manage my crazy emotions these days is to funnel it into projects, getting the house organized, painting pictures, making blankets, pretty much anything you have been wanting to do but haven't had the time to do it.  Makes some time each day to sit down and do something you have been wanting to do, this will give you a break from reality for a few minutes and lets you relax and lets your emotions reset.  Trust me if you are having a problem with emotional control try these simple things and you will feel a lot better.  Anyway, I wanted to share these tips because I was having a break down after talking with my husband tonight, we only got to talk for a few minutes over AIM and though I was thrilled to see him on line and have him respond to me and find out how his day was, I am missing him like crazy and with the storm rolling in outside I didn't want to have to say good night though I knew he needs all the sleep he can get. 

Well, I hope these tips and tricks for managing emotions helps at least one person out there because if I can at least help one person my job is done.  I hope you all find peace and happiness and emotional control, I know I hope I find it one of these days.