Dealing with Deployment

As you all know I am a proud military wife who is deeply in love with her Marine, but the scariest and hardest thing to deal with is deployment.  You have to deal with a wide range of emotions starting as soon as they come home and break the news to you.  Let me break it down for you, so you get told the news and you face disbelief and sadness.  Then you have anxiety over the next couple months while they go to training away from home and you go to briefs of what to expect, read emails about the up coming deployment and cry a little because its all getting to real to fast.  Then you get the actual leave date and you break down as you get the address for where you can send care packages and the packing list of what they need to take with them.  Then over the next days while you are anticipating the leave date every time he interacts with the kids or mentions leaving, even to the store, you break down a little and cry.  Then you start stressing out over every thing you want them to get done before they leave, that probably wont get done, but that is okay becuase you just want to be around them. You help them pack into the wee hours of the morning the night before they leave and when they say "Alright lets go to bed," you tear up and probably wont sleep that night because you don't want the next day to come.  When it does come you give yourself a pep talk to be strong and that they will be home before you know it, but you get to base and they get all their gear out and then it hits you big time, it time for them to leave and you don't want them to. You are tearing up and trying to suck it up as he says bye to the kids and then its time for your good bye and you lose it complete, balling your eyes out, uncontrolled.  You kiss him and hug him and hold tight trying to make him stay just a little longer but inevitably you have to let go and they have to go thru that gate and leave the normal behind to serve their country.  It is the most heart wrenching thing you could ever go through, and we just did.

Its only been a few days since they left and its tough to think that they are not coming home for 7 months but this is deployment, welcome to it.  There are going to be nights like that first one when you can't look at their side of the bed with out crying, or look at a picture of him or the 2 of you without tearing up, but that is okay.  While they are away protecting us we must in essence protect them by keeping up the home front and from day one of them being gone you must be getting ready for their return.

Keeping busy is the key to getting the days to pass and for me I have an 18 month old and a newborn baby to keep me on my toes.  Between taking care of them, healing, working on blankets, cleaning and taking care of our animals; I think I will be plenty busy.  I have plenty of art projects to get done plus a little girl to teach and potty train and a little boy to help thru his first year of life.  I also have some new and old friends to hang out with that I am so thankful for and can't wait to spend time with all of them.  Its not going to be easy, being away from your husband for 7 months can make you go crazy, but the support team I have behind me and am part of in return is amazing, which is the second part of making it through deployment with sanity semi intact. 

I don't mean to ramble on but I want to help shied a little light on what us military wives go through when handling deployment so that those who will most likely never deal with this part of life and I want to help you help us in understanding why we might be a little short when talking about certain things or just randomly being a little more cranky than usual.  So remember that we are worried about our husbands and friends who are deployed, risking their life for all of us to do what we want to do, and we are on edge holding down the home front. 

Its going to be a long 7 months but we will make it through and will rejoice the day we see them walking into that hanger so happy just to see us standing there.  That is what I am looking forward to and I can't wait for that day to get here.  To finish this I ask that y'all keep our troops in your prayers as they complete this deployment we want our marines home safe and sound.  Thank you all for your support over these next months and I look forward to keeping you updated on the deployment and on all the projects I will be doing too.  Love to you all.

Bringing home Gabriel

So we've been home for a few days now and it feels surreal. Gabriel was born January 6, 2012 weighing 7lbs 4oz and 22 inches long. His hair was a dirty blond at birth and has darkened quite a bit which I am hoping it is dark like mine. We are slowly getting into the swing of having 2 kids and though Makenzi is acting out a little towards us she is very loving towards Gabriel with kissing him good night and tryin to comfort him when he cries or just walks over and see he's awake and will have a little cnversation with him. For me the hardest part is getting the diaper on just right as I'm still figuring that out I'm going through out fits like crazy. But once he is healed I think it'll be much easier to change him. He is also enjoying breastfeeding and Makenzi is completely understanding in me needing time to feed him which is wonderful. I know that the coming months are going to be stressfull with Ty being away and me having to take care of 2 kids on my own but I know that this is going to be an amazing adventure for our family. It's just getting everything running smoothly with paying bills, rent, and outing aside savings and having enough for groceries too. But after the first month I should have it all running well. I think the biggest thing is to not be in a hurry with anything and making everything as easy as possible too. Okay so back to our real subject here. Bring home Gabriel. It seemed like our couple days in the hospital went by so quickly. Our whole event started at 5am on Friday the 6th of January when we got up and loaded our bags and selves into the car. Makenzi was sound asleep with mawmaw and granny on the couch to stay with her through the whole weekend. We arrived at the hospital to check in right at 5:45am and after a few minutes of waiting the nurse came and walked us back to the preopperating room to get ready for our c section. We had get changed and then they put IVs in both arms and a heart monitor attached to my finger and they used some thread and lotion to get my wedding ring off. Once I was fully set for the c section Ty was able to come back in and we waited for all the doctors and nurse to come by and give us a run through of how the operation would go for their end. Then Ty was sent to the waiting room again while I was rolled into the operating room and set up in there. Of course once I got in there and was sitting on the operating table I freaked a little and started to cry. The nursing staff was great an calmed me down big time. Then the spinal block was put in which he did a great job as it barely hurt and was done so quickly that I wa laying down on the table before I knew what was going on. Then I slowly felt the medicine take affect starting with my toes and sweeping up to my chest. Then the doctor came in and started tests to make sure I couldn't feel where they were going to be cutting into which went well. And finally Ty was brought back in to hold my hand and witness Gabriel's birth. So the c section went well besides me freaking out once because I started to choke on snot right after they got Gabriel out but they calmed me down and then I was able to enjoy the first sounds of Gabriel's life then they gave Gabriel to Ty and took a few pictures of us with Gabriel and printed them before we left the room. I was told that I had an ideal c section with less than normal bleeding and an easy pull out of the baby. Once the photos were printed Ty and Gabriel went to the nursery for Gabriel's post op stuff while I waited in actual post op for feeling to come back to my lower half and to be able to breath again. It was the longest hour of my life and I just couldn't wait to hold my little guy. Once I was able to start to move my legs again I was moved up stairs to my private recovery room. Shortly after getting to our room they brought Gabriel in and told me that for the first 24 hours I couldn't be left alone with Gabriel in the room which was sad to me but I understood since I couldn't get out of bed. Life was changing and so had our family. Once we were settled into the room Ty went and got his mom grandma and Makenzi to come meet Gabriel. When they got there I was just getting to the room and Makenzi saw me and freaked. They were alloud to come into the room shortly and she instantly wanted me which was a little hard as I had the 2 IVs and now sticthes across my mid section so she was held up to me so I could love on her then Gabriel was brought in and everyone held him Makenzi kissed him then I got to love on him a little more before Makenzi decided she was bored and we had to send Gabriel back to the nursery while Ty took everyone home and I Passed out for a little. The rest of the day I slept alot and was having a little problem breathing so was getting checked on every hour. The next day everything came out and I was forced to get up and move which was fine because Gabriel was brought in and left with us he also started nursing that first night and had it down by that morning. That night I had my knee fall out and the nursery was nice enough to take care of him for me. Luckily they staff was great and quick to respond to my call for help and laughed with me when all of it happened. That afternoon Gabriel also had his circumcision and were taught how to care for it which would take about a week to heal up. Sunday came in a hurry and we were ready to come home when we were informed that due to a large influx of deliveries that morning we would be slightly delayed with getting out of there. 1st it was my doctor being in a c section but she ran up quickly and signed of on me going home then we were waiting on the nursery as the Pediatrician had told us we were clear to go home the nursery had to do the discharge papers and had gotten swamped adding almost 3 hours to our wait to go home. Finally they came and went over some paper work with is and we were released so Ty took all our stuff down to the care while Gabriel and I went to the nursery to get his arm band removed so we could leave. Then we were wheeled to the exit where Ty was waiting with the car and we put Gabriel in and finally headed home. It's been such an amazing ride but I do miss the nursery these nights with still having to go o the bathroom 1/2 way through the night. I got spoiled with room service and nurses attending to me. Though my husband is taking good care of me and the kids. Well that's the word bird. Keep and eye out for updates on how our family is adjusting and what is to come next.

Preparing for baby Gabriel

So the day is coming up so quickly now that my mind is going in 50 directions and the need to clean and nest is hitting like a wild fire.  We have been blessed to be able to receive many things that we needed like diapers and clothing since a lot of the big stuff we already had from Kenzi.  We also have been able to recycle some of Kenzi's baby toys that are for both genders and that we are using all her old Pooh bedding and decorations as well as a bunch on new decorations that I personally made for him which makes me very proud. There is just something about being able to make your little ones blankets, wall plaques, as well as hats and of course hair bows for Kenzi. 

Some products we have had to go and buy include a second camera to our video monitor system which I highly recommend.  We have a Summer brand video monitor that we can hook up to 5 cameras to if need be, which I think 2 is all we need, it is the slim and sleek monitor system and is wonderful.  We can see if Kenzi gets out of bed and see where in her room she actually is since we mounted her monitor over her closet and have a perfect view of her whole room, which we will eventually do for Gabe as well but for now we will be keeping a closer eye on him with being in our room until he sleeps through the night a few times then we will have the video monitor right over his bed so we can really see him.  That is what we did with Kenzi, and really its just peace of mind for us to be able to not just hear them but to be able to see them too.  We also got a sensor monitor that will let us know if he stops breathing, rolls too close to the edge of the crib or anything in between again for my peace of mind.  Once we have it up and working I will give a review on that as of right now I am going off of a recommendation from a friend.  So that is our monitoring systems and I am excited to see the whole thing in working order as our summer monitor will scan between the 2 cameras ever 8 seconds it should be awesome and I will probably push it on even more people if it really works the way I want it to. 

So, for diapers we are trying out a few different kinds of diapers before I stick with one.  We have stocked up on newborn and size 1 diapers from different companies and once I find the one that I like the best for him, as all children are different, then we will stick with that, just like we stick with Huggies for Kenzi, though we are starting her potty training here soon and hopefully wont have to buy diapers for 2 kids for very long.  I think she will want to be different than Gabe when it comes to diapers, which I am hoping will help get her wanting to go on the potty like a big girl.  The one thing that they both will have is the natural Huggies wipes, I love them, the smell great and have been so gentle on Kenzi.  I can't seem to get away from Huggies for some reason. Granted we have leaks from time to time but that is normally my fault for putting the diaper on crooked or not paying attention to her fluid intake coupled with her playing and not letting me know that she has gone. 

We also chose to use All brand laundry soap since we use the regular stuff for us and Kenzi we will be using the the clear version for Gabe and are so far very happy using All it gets our clothing and Kenzi's clothes very clean and even takes out those pesky juice stains or food stains without having to use the heavy duty cleaner, though we have some of that too in the form of Shout heavy duty left in stain remover when needed.  Used it the whole time with Kenzi to get out spit up stains and food stains as she started eating solids and for the most part the stains have always come out. 

Well, the next few days of waiting for the C section will consist of cleaning the house, finishing laundry for all of us, including Gabe who received some new clothing for Christmas and has a new knit blanket from me that I will post pictures of tomorrow if I remember.  I also need to get his room actually set up so it will be easy for me or Ty to go up there and get whatever is needed, finish Kenzi's closet, and put away Christmas as well as bathe and trim the dog and get the laundry room cleaned up since we have been having to keep the cats in there when we are not home due to a problem with them acting up on the end of our sofa.  I am hoping that I have squashed the problem now but we will see in a few weeks when I let them out for good and see what happens. 

So needless to say we have a lot to do in the next couple days and though I am not super happy to have to do it alone, I am happy to be able to do it. Once we get Gabe's room fully put together tomorrow afternoon, as I have to have Ty bring some things up the stairs so I can finish the room, I will snap some pictures and get them up since the room is going to be so freaking cute.  Plus I have to have him bring down the cradle to put in our room for Gabe so I will be able to have him sleep in there while Kenzi's sleeps in the pack and play for naps and all that during the day while Ty is at work.  I am looking forward to getting the house set for the kids in the next few days and yes I know not to over do it.  Well, that is all for now I will let you all know how things are going on  Wednesday after my blood work is done for pre surgery prep work and all that.  Hopefully I can say something like "The house is ready I am ready and so is everyone else even if they don't know it."  Haha, wishful thinking but I am going to be ambitious with getting the house ready.

2012 Goals/New Years Resolutions

So of course I have the basic resolutions that I want to accomplish like losing weight and eating healthier, which go hand in hand. I plan to lose at least 40 pounds this year from my current pregnant weight of 188.  My other goals for the year are to get all of our finances in line and running smoothly, have savings accounts for not just our kids but us as well for vacation and emergency purposes.  I want to have Makenzi potty trained by age 2, or at the very least 2 and a half, I am not going to force it on her.  A family goal for us is to eat healthier, we will be trying to have a salad with every dinner and to have a piece of fruit or a good serving of veggies with breakfast and lunch. We have already implemented one goal which is to cut our trash out put in half and recycle as much as we can.  We now put out 2 recycling bins every week and only have 1 can of trash every other week. 

Some goals I want to see Makenzi reach this next year include the potty training, building her vocabulary, getting her to use utensils when she eats, drink from a regular cup with out a straw, sleeping in her big girl bed (which we have already started and as of night 1 we are doing good), picking up her own toys before nap time and bed time, and starting to put her clothing on herself with little to no help from me and Ty, she has already started to help put her clothing on so I feel that by the end of the year she will be capable of at least putting on her tops on her own. 

Goals for Gabriel include rolling over, crawling, walking, eating formula, eating solid baby food, eating real food, saying his first words, interacting freely with Kenzi and the animals, and sleeping through the night of course.  I think he will be able to accomplish all this and much more with his first year of life. 

Goals for me are all over the place, losing the weight is a big one for me and will take a lot of motivation to get done as I will be tired by the end of the day but I will do it.  Eating healthier will be good since I so often go for pasta when its just me and Kenzi eating but adding in the salad and fresh fruit and veggies will be good. Of course getting our finances in order and getting to really saving as much as we can will be a challenge but one that is well worth it.  I also want to accomplish getting a play group together at least 1 time a month if not more for Makenzi and Gabriel, finish all the paint by numbers I have in the works, finish all the blankets I have been wanting to make, clean out my closet and actually donate all the clothing that we can no longer wear, help my children excel in their basic skills and really teach them how to read, write, speak, etc. 

I guess you can say I have high hopes for this year but these are all things that I feel are very real goals for us to reach and plan to give a report at the end of the year that shows how we were able to surpass these goals and more.  I want this year to be full of happy memories and many reached goals. I pray that all of you are blessed with just the same, happy memories and accomplished goals. Welcome 2012 lets get this year going on a great and positive course. 

What you put out into the universe is what you will get out of the universe, so be positive and positive will be returned to you. 

Saying good bye to 2011

Well, 2011 was a hard year on my family and me.  We had to deal with a lot of problems that were surprising and caught us off guard but we made it thru the tough year and are excited to be starting a new year with bring our baby boy into the world. 

Things that were good for us this last year was getting to go to California for a month to see my family, thank you to all who made that possibly especially my dad and Julie.  California was so nice to visit and to see everyone there was awesome.  I still miss our weekly runs to In n Out, Kari, and loved going to the outdoor malls with Julie, and walking on State St.  I am very home sick these days and feel like home is farther away than it was before, but so goes life when you are married to a service member.  I especially miss the cold weather and snow of the Mountains.  Our next blessing of the year was finding out we were expecting our second child and then finding out we were having a little boy.  We are super excited to be having one of each and Ty already can't wait to be able to buy him the loud car toys and police toys.  We also celebrated Makenzi's 1st birthday which was tons of fun, thank you Mike and Sheryl for throwing Kenzi's princess party. We also celebrated our 2 year anniversary this year I know doesn't seem like long but we are so happy to have each other and really do complete each other as well.  2011 also saw us move to North Carolina's Coast where we found a nice house to rent while we spend our time here which will also be Gabriel's 1st home.  

All in all though we had a financially tough year with many unexpected issues. We have learned a lot and have started saving everything we can, we are couponing as well as saving all our change in a jar to help start savings accounts for the kids. Its amazing how things add up.  Anyway, we are trying to get back into the swing of paying bills, rent and buying groceries which has been a little difficult but its getting there.

We are looking forward to what 2012 has to offer and know that even with the strain of being apart for most of this new year we will have a better year than last.  I especially am looking forward to reaching my goals and to seeing my children grow and reach mile markers of their own.  It will be an amazing year of growth, love and tons of family time.

I think everyone can agree that 2011 was harsh on us and we all want to see 2012 be a better year than 2011.  So here is my positive thought out to all of you that you will all have a wonderful 2012.